What happens to our relationships, mental health, and leadership when we’re conflicted within? What if we’ve done, thought, said, or planned something that makes us feel ashamed or guilty? What if there’s no peace in our relationship with our own self?
This is the sort of question you might expect to hear in church, not a business leadership newsletter. But I’m asking it, and offering some preliminary thoughts on it, for a few reasons.
We’re All Human
First, let’s face it: every part of our humanity affects our leadership journey. From the dawn of time, inner moral or spiritual conflict has been seen as something that causes suffering and injury – both to the individual and those around him/her. In Book IX of Nichomachean Ethics, Aristotle argues that those who “shun themselves” and have no inner “harmony” cannot be a true friend to others. The inward state of “variance” with oneself ultimately spreads the diseases of hatred, conflict, envy, jealousy, and ignorance to others.*
For leaders, lack of peace with oneself can manifest as hyper-control, toxic perfectionism, narcissistic tendencies, hidden addictions, overwork and burnout, and a tendency to be quick to shame and blame others. Additionally, leaders who struggle with deep self-rejection are often intolerant of others’ emotions. For, as Aristotle notes, how can you genuinely grieve (or rejoice) with others if you’re so deeply uncomfortable with your own thoughts/emotions that you have trouble being alone with yourself?
The Effects of Moral Trauma
The second reason I’m spotlighting inner conflict is that there’s a growing amount of research on the deleterious effects of “moral trauma” on mental health and leadership. Moral trauma happens when we become intensely and chronically “morally distressed” because we’re not able to act rightly – often due to institutional constraints. For example, a physician might know what’s right for a patient, but they’re prevented from acting accordingly due to the strictures of their job.
Moral distress and trauma are growing problems in today’s business and leadership contexts. In healthcare, they are especially pronounced. It’s time to start talking about how these oft-hidden states of suffering are linked with burnout, mental illness, and so-called “toxic” work cultures.
Whole Beings
Harvard researchers Tyler VanderWeele and Jennifer Wortham note in a recent article:
“As human persons, we are not only physical and mental creatures, but social, moral, and spiritual as well… more attention needs to be given to the social, moral, and spiritual aspects of our lives.”**
I couldn’t agree more. Today’s leaders are navigating a world that, too often, alienates them from their own deep truth. The lack of inner harmony often goes undetected by the leader him/herself — in part because there are so many ways to be pleasantly distracted in today’s world. The side effects range from addiction, to burnout, to unhappy teams, to workplace incivility – and that’s just the start.
What would happen if we started really talking not just about “mental health” and “self-care,” but about things like inner peace, harmony, reconciliation, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness in leadership contexts?
