Have you ever needed to show up strong for a professional event or task, but at a time when you felt quite drained and vulnerable inside? I’m guessing “yes,” because that’s (unfortunately) just LIFE sometimes, isn’t it. Sigh.
This happened to me recently. Let me tell you about it, and share what I learned. I hope it helps you the next time you need to “show up” amidst personal pain.
A Podcast Interview? Today? Really??
Recently I had to grapple with a very painful situation in my family while also celebrating my book launch and appearing on numerous podcasts – including (the awesome!) Leadership Vision Podcast!
Before my podcast conversation with my wonderful and brilliant friends—Nathan Freeburg, Dr. Linda Schubring, and Brian Schubring—I found myself asking, “How can I manage this interview amid such personal struggle and suffering?”
Life tends to provide us with blessed opportunities to practice what we preach. A lot. This was one of those teaching moments.
Before the podcast interview, I practiced the three steps of Radical Self-Compassion, which I “preach” (speak about, write about, coach people about) all the time.
- I got curious about what I was going through. Answer? Grief, complicated by pressure to “perform perfectly” on a podcast interview (thanks, Inner Critic!) Then I offered myself some kind self-talk: “Ahhhhh yes. Of course you’re struggling, sweetheart, anybody would be!”
- I connected with one of my core values, courage. Courage led me to trust myself and show up for the interview, even though I didn’t feel prepared for anything close to “perfection.” I also chose to prioritize authentic human connection with the podcast hosts, rather than attempting to “perform perfectly” during the interview. (The hosts made this easy!)
- I committed to being kind to myself, but also holding myself accountable. It’s kind to remember that suffering is a part of life. And it’s kind to speak comforting words to yourself inwardly, and to connect with your own values. But it’s accountability-building to insist on keeping your professional commitments. And it’s accountability-building to stretch yourself when possible, proving to yourself that you can do hard things.
The conclusion that emerged after those steps? This:
Just show up. All will be well.
What I Learned
Y’all, the entire podcast interview was amazing! Especially the part where I discussed how hard it was to “show up” today, but how glad I was that I had done just that.
The conversation was so much fun, with so many insights that emerged organically. I let go of the pressure to perform and chose instead to simply connect – with both myself and others.
Here’s what’s true. Even amid personal challenges, we can still present our authentic selves to our colleagues while remaining engaged and professional.
When we feel down, the temptation to hide and lick our wounds can be strong. Yet it’s precisely during these moments that we need the three steps of Radical Self-Compassion—curiosity, connection, and commitment—the most.
If you’re in a moment of overwhelm but need to show up strong as a worker and/or leader, practice the three steps I sketched above. No, you don’t have to feel invincible and awesome to succeed, lead, and inspire. Simply being compassionately present to yourself, and choosing to bravely connect with others rather than hiding out, can make a huge difference.
The best part? The trust you build with you. It’s a powerful realization when you say, “Wow, I can do that! I can show up and shine – even when things feel impossibly hard. I didn’t know I had it in me.”
You do indeed have it in you! I know it’s not easy. But you really do.
Listen to the full podcast on the Web.
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