What if the key to joy lies in learning to let go?
If you’ve recently had a big shift in your life—maybe a move, a change in family constellation, loss of a loved one, or loss of economic stability—the holiday season will likely feel different this year. I know I’ve had some big changes this year, and in my lower moments, I wonder:
When, if ever, will it feel like it did before?
Will this new reality ever feel “normal”?
Holiday time amidst change can evoke a range of emotions— anxiety, grief, dread, resentment, and lots else. Navigating these feelings and adjusting to “the new normal” is hard yet healthy and necessary work.
Nevertheless, these emotions can sometimes feel overwhelming, causing us to get “stuck.” Neurobiologically, powerful emotional triggers serve a purpose. They can spur us to fix problems, learn lessons, self-protect, and avoid repeating harmful behaviors.
But when we can’t move through them, these emotional reactions can hinder our ability to live fully in the present. This makes it difficult to be present and find the gifts within the new “now,” however it looks.
Be that as it may, research shows that practicing the art of letting go can lead to greater peace, enjoyment, and fulfillment in life.*
So, how do we truly let go?
Release and Renew
Letting go can feel scary. Hanging on, even if it’s futile, can feel safe. But with the right approach, releasing our attachments to “the way things used to be” can help us heal, accept, adapt, and get unstuck. Little by little, we learn to trust that we can adjust.
One effective method is the Sedona Method**, which offers a straightforward, step-by-step process to help you release emotional burdens and embrace peace.
Here’s how it works:
Step 1: Feel the emotion
Begin by recognizing and welcoming the emotion you’re experiencing. Give yourself permission to fully feel it without judgment. For instance, I often find that my old expectations, coupled with the anxiety of uncertain changes, lead to feelings of stress, even panic. Acknowledge these emotions as valid responses to your situation.
Step 2: Allow the emotion
Ask yourself, “Can I allow this emotion to be here?” Sit with it and give it space.
Step 3: Consider letting go
Reflect on whether you could let go of this emotion. The answer might be yes or no, but remember, you have the innate capacity to release what no longer serves you. Just as you’ve let go of frustration when finding a lost object, you can let go of this emotion. It is possible.
Step 4: Willingness to release
Check in with yourself: “Am I willing to let this emotion go?” Recognize that holding onto it may only lead to unnecessary suffering.
Step 5: Timing is key
Finally, ask yourself, “When?” The answer is often now, because the present moment is all we truly have.
Our egos tend to get in the way with this step, for they resist change and want to cling to an identity that provides a sense of rightness or righteousness. Observe these tendencies without judgment, as they often hinder your ability to let go. The ultimate question is “Would I rather feel right and gratified in my ego, or feel freedom, faith, and trust in this moment?”
This method may seem simple, but it’s profoundly effective. Like any skill, it takes practice. While the concept of letting go is not new, its application can be transformative when practiced consistently, moment by moment.
This holiday season, will you join me in actively practicing letting go? Whether it’s releasing old grievances, loosening an anxious grip on “the way it used to be,” accepting permanent loss, or simply adjusting to changes that come with time, embracing this mindset can open the door to new possibilities and deeper connections.
Maybe we will discover gifts, joys, and graces we otherwise wouldn’t have, had we stayed locked in futile clutching to a past that can no longer be.
Together, let’s navigate this complicated journey with awareness, intentionality, faith, and much tenderness toward our own hearts.
Wishing you a season filled with peace and the promise of renewal.
*“How to Let Go & Why It’s So Important for Wellbeing” by Dr. Anna Katharina Schaffner.
**The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin.
